tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18199502121187982622024-03-13T13:35:00.825-07:00Ali's Odd Blog"Spewing nonsense with authority"
-PsychAli Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.comBlogger168125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-47591076232251323622014-07-22T20:44:00.000-07:002014-07-22T20:44:01.664-07:00Teaching Assignment for EDPSYCH<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-69762690030458843762014-07-19T17:46:00.002-07:002014-07-19T17:46:30.126-07:00Habakkuk assignment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
(a) Read the chapter summary for Habakkuk 1. Write a
paragraph explaining how Habakkuk felt after learning what the Lord was going
to do.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(b) Read Habakkuk 2:3–15 and compare it with Articles of
Faith 1:9; Jacob 4:8; Doctrine and Covenants 101:32–34; 121:26–31; 130:18–19.
Write a one-page paper on “Understanding and Obtaining the Knowledge and Glory
of the Lord.” You may wish to use other scriptures to support your paper.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It says he feels “troubled that the wicked can be thus
employed.” It is interesting to see that he is worried that the wicked will be
used for more wickedness. In the actual chapter he worries that they will
continuously be overrunning nations and killing people. It seems like he sees
them sort of as a weed; they are strong and scary and easily overpower others.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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The Lord’s knowledge is vast and incomprehensible and
endless. We have the smallest tiniest portion of the knowledge that he does.
Throughout our lifetimes here on earth it is one of our main purposes to gain
knowledge and understanding. We ought to be learning as much as we can. The
Lord will reveal knowledge and understanding to those who honestly and
faithfully seek it. It is important to refrain from pride when we are seeking
knowledge and revelation. If we are prideful the knowledge will not come to us
or we will not be able to accept it. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-12803597300774727582014-07-12T14:45:00.003-07:002014-07-12T14:45:48.131-07:00Obadiah assignment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Read Obadiah 1:17, 21; Doctrine and Covenants 128:5, 15;
institute student manual Points to Ponder, “Saviors on Mount Zion” (pg. 259);
Bible Dictionary, “Obadiah” (pg. 739). Explain in a paragraph or two what is
taught in these references. In what ways does the temple deliver the faithful?
How does the temple represent holiness?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We are taught that we need to be saviors on mount Zion. That
it is our sacred duty to bring other people to the Lord through temple work. It
is our duty to build temples and to do work for those that are deceased. The
temple delivers people that our faithful by allowing them to do temple work and
create sacred covenants with the Lord. We perform saving ordinances for ourselves
and for others in the temple.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
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There are many ways in which the temple represents holiness.
First and foremost, its white exterior is definitely a representative of
holiness. White has definitely represented holiness all throughout history. The fact that the temple is also a house of the Lord is a pretty sure sign of holiness. There are a lot of comparisons with the temple to compasses and lightouses. Things that guide and direct. I think that this shows a pretty strong idea for how the people view the temple. It is a beautiful place that is kept very clean and manicured. Everything about it asks for respect and peace.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-62824883578466628762014-07-07T15:17:00.001-07:002014-07-07T15:17:19.418-07:00I've Moved!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Just a reminder that I have officially switched blogs now.<br />
My new blog can be found at<br />
<br />
<a href="http://wonderinalisland.blogspot.com/">http://wonderinalisland.blogspot.com/</a><br />
<br />
Go take a look!</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-83095019088815116182014-07-05T13:23:00.001-07:002014-07-05T13:23:34.669-07:00Ezekiel-Daniel Assignment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Choice 3: Ezekiel
26–27; 32, 35. Don’t Rejoice over Others’ Tribulation<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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(a) Read Ezekiel 26:1–3; 35:3–5 and write a statement that
describes the reasons for the Lord’s anger with these nations. Read the chapter
summaries for Ezekiel 27, 32. Describe in writing how Ezekiel felt about the
fall of these foreign powers. List some ways you can develop empathy for those
who suffer.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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These nations had been very rebellious, shed blood, and
ignored the Lord. They were hateful and waged war.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Even through their wickedness, Ezekiel still mourned and
lamented the loss of these people. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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I really like Ezekiel’s example here. He saw the wickedness
that these people had, but did not develop a “good riddance” or “serves them
right” attitude. He was sad because of their wickedness and because they would
be punished. I think this is something we all need to strive to do in our daily
lives. It is never a good thing that people have to go through suffering and
punishment to be humbled. It is never our place to be glad or relieved that
this has happened to them. Instead we should mourn for them and their
suffering. I think the most important step in developing empathy is to remember
that everyone is a person. And also that every person is our brother and sister.
It’s sad, but I see a “serves them right” attitude a lot among members of the
church, especially when issues of homosexuality, etc. are brought up. It always
makes me sad to hear the hate and anger that is immediately professed. I think
it is important to always try to empathize with everyone and remember that they
are indeed our spiritual siblings. Outright hate will not solve any problems.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-7089288029273293522014-06-28T13:19:00.002-07:002014-06-28T13:19:42.226-07:00Jeremiah assignment no. 2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Choice 2: Jeremiah 46, 50. A Future Promise to Scattered
Israel<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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(a) Read Jeremiah 46:27–28; 50:17–20, 33–34, 41 and explain
in a paragraph or two what promises were given to scattered Israel. Read
Doctrine and Covenants 110:11 and describe in writing what happened in this
verse that relates to the promises of Jeremiah. What has happened since 1836
toward the fulfillment of these promises?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Scattered Israel was promised that they would be saved from
afar. It was promised that Israel’s seed would be saved from the land of
captivity and that Jacob would return and that none would make him afraid. He
also promised Jacob that he would be with him and that he would correct as
necessary and give praise when necessary. The Redeemer is strong and will plead
for their case. The king of Babylon will be punished and those who the Lord
reserves shall be pardoned. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have been given the keys to gather Israel back together,
so the work towards this promise is being fulfilled. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-90388812084553553272014-06-20T22:15:00.001-07:002014-06-20T22:15:26.213-07:00Jeremiah assignment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Choice 3: Jeremiah 12, 15–38.The Strength of Jeremiah’s
Commitment<o:p></o:p></div>
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a. Jeremiah served the Lord faithfully but suffered for his
obedience. Read the following verses and make a list of hardships Jeremiah
experienced as he prophesied to an unreceptive people:<o:p></o:p></div>
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• Jeremiah 12:6<o:p></o:p></div>
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• Jeremiah 15:15–18<o:p></o:p></div>
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• Jeremiah 20:1–7<o:p></o:p></div>
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• Jeremiah 26:8–11<o:p></o:p></div>
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• Jeremiah 32:2–3<o:p></o:p></div>
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• Jeremiah 37:11–21<o:p></o:p></div>
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• Jeremiah 38:6<o:p></o:p></div>
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• Jeremiah 43:1–6 (see chapter heading)<o:p></o:p></div>
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In what circumstances might you have to follow Jeremiah’s
example as described in Jeremiah 15:17?<o:p></o:p></div>
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b. Write one or two paragraphs about what Jeremiah 20:8–9
teaches about Jeremiah’s commitment to the Lord despite living in an
environment of wickedness and persecution. How do you think a person becomes
that committed? What can you do to increase your commitment to the Lord?<o:p></o:p></div>
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People have been treacherous and lied to him<o:p></o:p></div>
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People have persecuted and mocked him<o:p></o:p></div>
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Smitten, put in stocks<o:p></o:p></div>
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Threatened with death<o:p></o:p></div>
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Shut up in prison<o:p></o:p></div>
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Smitten and imprisoned again<o:p></o:p></div>
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Thrown in a dungeon full of mire with no water<o:p></o:p></div>
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Left and was carried into Egypt<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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-There are a lot of circumstances nowadays where it would be
important to follow the example of Jeremiah in staying away from the
mockers/scorners and walking alone. Because of our beliefs there are a lot of
times when we tend to stand against the world in some ideals. We have to have
the courage and faith to do so when it is necessary. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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-I think a person becomes as committed as Jeremiah does by
really relying on one’s own beliefs rather than the beliefs of the people. You
have to be really strong in your faith and not be swayed by the opinions around
you. You really have to rely on the Lord and his guidance and commandments to
get you through situations like this. It was really inspiring to read about his
commitment through all of these trials. I’ve been struggling a lot with some
depression in my own life and there are a lot of times when I feel tempted just
to give into how I feel. However it is possible to rely more fully on the Lord
to find strength and faith in hard times. <o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-52391264650179387102014-06-14T16:33:00.001-07:002014-06-14T16:33:23.524-07:00Isaiah 55 Assignment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Choice 3: Isaiah 55:8–11. The Lord’s Thoughts and Ways<o:p></o:p></div>
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Read Isaiah 55:8–11; Jacob 4:8; 1 Corinthians 2:14–16, and
then answer the following questions:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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-How is the message of these verses one of comfort?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I think these verses can help us to understand that,
although we may not have a full knowledge, there is someone who does. Someone
who knows a good path for us and can guide us on that path. Someone who
understands the trials and temptations that we go through and can provide us
with the strength to get through them. We may not understand why things happen
but there is someone who does. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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-How can we come to better understand God’s thoughts and
ways?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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By working to get to know God through study and prayer. To
have a better understanding of God we must first get to know him and understand
what he means to us in our lives.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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-Give an example of when you have observed a clear example
of God’s ways being higher than man’s ways.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
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A few years ago I got offered a 6 week job that I was very
nervous to take but felt very strongly that I should. Even though I really didn’t
want to, I accepted the job and ended up being offered a long term position
that has so far paid my way through college.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-64480277107493877492014-06-07T09:54:00.001-07:002014-06-07T09:54:52.909-07:00Isaiah and The Second Coming<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Choice 1: Isaiah 25–26. Destruction, Second Coming,
Rejoicing, and Resurrection<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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(a) Read Isaiah 25:1, 4, 8–9; 26:3–4, 9, 19 and the
institute student manual commentary for Isaiah 25:1–11, “The Second Coming Will
Be a Time of Great Rejoicing for the Righteous” (pg. 162). Then answer the
following questions:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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-What specific blessings did Isaiah mention?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Strength to the poor<o:p></o:p></div>
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Strength to the needy<o:p></o:p></div>
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Refuge from the storm<o:p></o:p></div>
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Shadow from the heat<o:p></o:p></div>
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Wipe away tears<o:p></o:p></div>
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Rebuke death<o:p></o:p></div>
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The dead shall live<o:p></o:p></div>
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-What desires did Isaiah express?<o:p></o:p></div>
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To stay near to the Lord and be guided by him. He wants the
world to learn righteousness. He desires to praise him as well. <o:p></o:p></div>
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If you were asked to speak at a funeral and could share two
thoughts from these verses, which two would you share and why?<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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I would share the bits about the fact that the Lord will
wipe away tears and rebuke death. They both seem rather funeral appropriate.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-76082355808224607882014-06-04T14:16:00.001-07:002014-06-04T14:16:20.426-07:00I'm Moving!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hello everyone, I've decided to start up a new blog called Wonder in Ali's Land.<br />
I will be posting my content over there now!<br />
<br />
Although it is still under construction and not currently looking too cute, feel free to check it out <a href="http://wonderinalisland.blogspot.com/?zx=f0385fde6a5e78fb">here!</a></div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-21099327193247252002014-05-31T15:32:00.001-07:002014-05-31T15:41:56.074-07:00Isaiah assignment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Choice 3: Isaiah 5:26–30; 11:12; 18:1–7. An Ensign to the Nation<br />
<br />
(a) Read Isaiah 5:26; 11:12; 18:1–7; the words to the hymn “High on the Mountain Top” (Hymns, no. 5); and the institute student manual commentary for Isaiah 5:26–30, “‘He Will Lift Up an Ensign to the Nations’ in the Latter Days” (pg. 142). List two themes that connect the scriptures with the hymn.<br />
(b) What will the Lord do to extend the ensign to other nations, and where will He bring them?<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I really like the hopeful flavor in this reading, in the hymn especially. The themes center around the idea that the Lord will becoming to lead his people and bring the truth to everyone. The faithful people will follow him and help to spread his word. I really like the line in the hymn that says "truth's banner is unfurled. Ye nations now look up, it waves to all the world." It connotates that the truth will be sent to everyone, barring none. We will all receive a message of light and hope. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Messengers will go out to spread the news around the world and all the nations will be brought to Zion to dwell together in peace. This is already currently happening with missionary work, we are able to spread the light of the gospel to many nations through that program.</div>
</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-31048334399046008232014-05-24T14:31:00.001-07:002014-05-24T14:31:58.448-07:00Ecclesiastes Assignment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal">
(a) Read the Bible Dictionary for “Ecclesiastes,” (pg. 659),
and complete the following statements:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The book of Ecclesiastes consists of “reflections on some of
the deepest problems of life, as they present themselves to the thoughtful
observer.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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The author describes himself as “son of David, king in
Jerusalem”.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ecclesiastes is written from the point of view of the world.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ecclesiastes should not be construed as “theological
pronouncements on the condition of the soul after death; rather, they are
observations by the Preacher about how things appear to men on the earth “under
the sun.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(b) Read Ecclesiastes 1–2 and list five ways the author
sought happiness but couldn’t find it. After each item on your list, write the
reference of the verse where you found it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1- He gave his heart to find knowledge, but in Chapter 1 verse
18 he says “For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge
increaseth sorrow.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2- He labored to build houses<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3- Gathered silver and gold<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4-Got servants and maidens<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5-Procured livestalk<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Numbers 2-5 are found in chapter two. The speaker worked and
labored to make his house a place of plenty. He kept many possessions and became
rich and wealthy. However, these things did not bring him joy because he
realized that all of these things are temporary and would not benefit him in
the time to come.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(c) Read Ecclesiastes 3:1–8 and compare it with the
principles that are taught in Mosiah 4:27; Doctrine and Covenants 10:4; 111:11;
Luke 10:38–42. Write a paragraph describing why the timing and order of our activities
are so important. Note some examples of how major events of life when done at
the wrong time or out of order could seriously hurt an individual’s eternal
progress. What do you think the Lord wants you to accomplish during this “time
and season” of your life?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s important to remember that the Lord has a plan for all
of us and that he knows what is best for us at what times in our lives. I often
times have a hard time remembering this and sometimes I find myself getting
impatient or unhappy. The Lord’s plans will not change and we need to trust in
his knowledge of what we need. I know that I definitely need to work on
remembering this principle. I think that if people try to force things that
they aren’t ready for or strong enough for, it can lead to temptation and
failure. It is important to be progressing but also accepting of the place that
you are at.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(d) As you read Ecclesiastes 4–5, choose two principles to
incorporate into your life. Write about them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
1-It is better to have wisdom than riches- It is important
to remember that the worldly things we gain in this life will not be taken with
us into the next. It is far more important to work to gain understanding and
knowledge than it is to gain earthly possessions.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
2-Work hard and you will be blessed<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Labor to gain good things in your life and you will be
rewarded with happiness. Don’t let yourself be lazy or work for that which will
come to naught.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(e) Read Ecclesiastes 12:7, 13–14 and answer the following
questions:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What happens to us when we die? The body will return to the
earth and the spirit will return to God<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is “the whole duty of man”? To keep God’s commandments<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Why is this a good description of man’s purpose? Because God
sent us here to gain experience and get closer to him. And when we return to him,
we will be judged based on our works and how well we followed him.<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-14996400193831104052014-05-10T14:29:00.001-07:002014-05-10T14:29:22.018-07:00Student Choice Assignment Week 2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Through the Lord's word, Elijah was cared for by many different means. He was fed by ravens, and lead to a woman who had been prepared to receive him. The woman, though her means were little, fed Elijah and was blessed with food to feed her household because of her faith. Through Elijah's word her son was healed as well. It would also be difficult to have as much responsibility as Elijah did, however. He had to prophesy to Ahab that his death was imminent, and it did happen, just as the Lord had said it would. Such tasks would be incredibly difficult to complete. </div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-54282387015064928622014-05-03T12:31:00.002-07:002014-05-03T12:31:41.962-07:00Old Testament Study: Student Choice Assignment<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
This week for my Old Testament class, we are asked to pick a topic to study about in the Old Testament. I chose to post my findings here.<br /><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bolder;">Choice 2: 1 Kings 3–4. “A Wise and an Understanding Heart”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: verdana, geneva; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bolder;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, geneva;"><span style="background-color: white;">I think Solomon's decision to pray for a wise and understanding heart was a great one. It was a selfless request. In my mind, he wanted to be a good leader to his people. In order to do this, he recognized the need to be more than he already was. It shows his understanding, at the time, of how the Lord works that he was willing to pray and ask for this thing. I know at times I feel like strengths that I want to possess are things that I have to work on by myself, but if we pray faithfully to the Lord, he can help us to overcome weaknesses. More worldly people could have asked for more riches, more land, more power, the strength to conquer enemies, etc.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, geneva;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, geneva;"><span style="background-color: white;">Solomon demonstrated this in his understanding of how to reconcile the issue of the two women fighting over the infant. Through the power of discernment, he was able to rightly figure out who the mother of the child was.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, geneva;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, geneva;"><span style="background-color: white;">According to the scriptures, we ought to earnestly seek to cherish the best gifts. We can ask the Lord for help to be strengthened in these gifts, but we must also work personally to obtain them.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: verdana, geneva;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, geneva;"><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></span></div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-53841362109161741292014-03-05T14:22:00.001-08:002014-03-05T14:22:10.629-08:00I'm Returning!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Or trying to...<br />
It's been quite some time since I've posted here, but my life is picking up and I'd like to start using this blog again!<br />
I've done over a year of college now, so here we go!<br />
<br />
<3 p=""></3></div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-21135200002595753732013-07-03T12:18:00.003-07:002013-07-03T12:23:01.456-07:00The Shoe Guy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Once upon a time, there was an adorable little freshman girl who had just come to college for her very first semester and thought everything was going to be nice and rosy and fun.<br />
<br />
This girl had brown hair and red shoes. Her name was Ali.<br />
Lacking in social skills but still inconceivably optimistic, she figured she would try out a student ward that housed mostly out-of-state students, but also allowed a cute little bunch of ragtag locals to attend.<br />
Ali was one of those little ragtag local yokels.<br />
<br />
Fast forward a couple of weeks, Ali was running late to church due to pet sitting.<br />
She slunk in at the last minute, disheveled and out of breath, only to discover that veritably no seats were left for her to sit in.<br />
This was unfortunate, in many regards, the foremost being this:<br />
An older than youngish, baldingish man with emerald green pants smiled and patted one of the only seats remaining; the seat right next to him.<br />
Grateful for a place to rest, Ali gracefully wobbled her way over on those shiny red heels and sat down next to him.<br />
First words out of his mouth:<br />
"Those are some really nice looking heels."<br />
Ali thanked him and mentally prepared herself for the upcoming ordeal of small talk.<br />
This boy began to ask her an abundance of questions.<br />
She would answer, but he would neither react to her answers nor answer the questions she asked him.<br />
<br />
Ali's inability to be a human being compounded with this oddly one sided conversation was creating several levels of social nightmare hell. The immediate area had become a sort of vortex of painfully awkward, and several people were sucked in and were unable to speak or eat for several days.<br />
<br />
All of this boy's conversations were punctuated with comments about the shoes.<br />
He continued to focus on them, commenting on their nice shade and how well they looked.<br />
This went on for minutes which turned into millenia.<br />
Finally, he shrugged and pulled out his phone.<br />
"Here," he whispered, "this will probably explain it better than I ever could.<br />
He flipped through his pictures until he found the right one: the screenshot of a quote which read:<br />
<br />
<b>"I FIND IT FLATTERING WHEN GIRLS WEAR HIGH HEELS BECAUSE IT SHOWS THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO GO THROUGH A LOT OF PAIN TO LOOK TRULY BEAUTIFUL."</b><br />
<br />
What? Just what. I honestly didn't even have anything to say.<br />
If I remember correctly, I think I just nodded understandingly and said "oh."<br />
<br />
Thankfully, at this point the meeting started.<br />
This odd boy continued to sing the opening hymn a full octave lower than he was supposed to, all the while looking over at Ali and winking and elbowing her and whatnot.<br />
Halfway through the meeting, the situation really deteriorated. Like, all the way.<br />
He began whispering to himself.<br />
What was he whispering???<br />
Spells?<br />
Incantations?<br />
Secrets? Was it secrets?<br />
The quiet conversation was getting erratic. He was gesturing and shaking his head and whispering and all Ali could do was lean away as subtly as possible.<br />
AND THEN HE STARTED PUNCHING HIMSELF IN THE HEAD.<br />
I must say, I was just sitting there praying that I would turn into a rock or dissolve or die.<br />
Should I try to help him?<br />
Should I run far away?<br />
Should I alert someone? <br />
<br />
After a while, he stopped.<br />
At the end of the meeting, he turned to young Ali.<br />
"So, Ali," he asked, smiling slyly, "do you think we could... do something sometime?"<br />
Ali, being the smooth criminal that she was, simply said<br />
"Well I'm really busy this semester but hey I'll let you know!"<br />
Before awkwardly moonwalking backwards out the door.*<br />
He again tried the next week to flirt, chasing her down and very rudely scuffing Ali's friends shoes in the process, but she once again kinda bailed and<br />
after that, he just kinda gave up.<br />
Ali was a little scarred, but recovered and is still in control of most of her mental faculties, although that hasn't been proven so there's no way to know for sure.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
*pretend the moonwalking happened<br />
<br />
<br />
</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-56996943207176866982013-06-21T10:55:00.000-07:002013-06-21T12:50:59.288-07:00She's BAAACK...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Guess who has returned, my sweet, sweet children?<br />
<br />
YOOOUR MAAAMAAA!!!<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
Sorry for oh-so-cruelly abandoning you, but I have had much to do what with being a kid in college and all. Maybe later in the day I'll get around to posting some pics of my new place and things of that persuasion. <br />
Today I haven't much energy for the doing of things on account of I'm a female with screaming ovaries, so I'm just going to holla at'choo for a mo'.<br />
Let's just discuss music for a moment shall we? I've been basically relying on it this semester for both emotional and probably physical sustenance. These are the ones who've been keepin' it real. <br />
<br />
-ARCADE FIRE<br />
<br />
-THE SHINS<br />
<br />
-LAURA MARLING<br />
<br />
-THE CIVIL WARS<br />
<br />
-FANFARLO<br />
<br />
-JEREMY MESSERSMITH<br />
<br />
-ELBOW<br />
<br />
-MUMFORD AND SONS <br />
<br />
Do I even have to actually explain these to you? These bands are perfection. They have helped me survive through many a time that is bad. They have also made many good situations much better. They are all oh-so good. Look them up. Discover for yourselves.<br />
<br />
Other than that, I haven't much to say at the current moment. I don't think I ever made mention of the fact that I moved into an apartment closer to campus, which has been a whirlwind of discombobulation and starvation. My roommates are great, I love em' to death. They learned quite early that I'm a psycho, and have moved past it with grace and majesty.<br />
I think that's all for now, kids. Maybe after a couple hours I'll come up with a story to tell you or something. <br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-88677440693451942072013-04-20T17:20:00.002-07:002013-05-15T15:28:57.592-07:00Lush<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Once upon a time, my friends and I took a fabulous trip to the beautiful world of the Festival of Colors in Utah.<br />
That was a wonderful, magical adventure filled with wonder and fancy, but I want to focus on something for a moment.<br />
LUSH.<br />
Before we went to the color festives, we made our way over to the City Creek shopping center in Salt Lake.<br />
After visiting the clothing stores, we noticed they had a Lush. (Lush is a store that sells delightful natural beauty products)<br />
We wandered the store, testing this and that, and then noticed a little corner with toothpaste and whatnots.<br />
We made our way over when we noticed a sign that said<br />
"CHEWABLE TOOTHPASTE TABLETS"<br />
Or something that sounded more alluring and less like a rabbit treat.<br />
We studied the flavors with great interest, until we found the most interesting delicious sounding one.<br />
<i>THE BREATH OF GOD</i><br />
Tanner, Mary and I each grabbed one with greedy fingers,<br />
excited to taste what we were sure would be the most incredible, life changing toothpaste tablet ever.<br />
I was picturing rainbows and cherubs and sparkles. I was sure a unicorn would burst its way through someone's stomach and high five my blissful tongue.<br />
At the very least, there would have had to be a burst of angel light and magic trumpets that serenaded my freshly cleansed teeth.<br />
This made the real experience that much more emotionally scarring.<br />
The taste that erupted in my mouth as I popped that little tablet in my mouth was far less like I had wandered into a forest of delight and wonder and magic, and more like, well,<br />
Vomit. On fire.<br />
The next few moments were filled with horrible battlefield gurgles and death screams.<br />
Mary, seeing Tanner and my horrified faces, quickly threw that thing back where it came from. Or as close to it as we could be.<br />
Unfortunately, we were too close to dying to make the trip to Mount Doom.<br />
Tanner and I were flailing around, trying to figure out what to do with what was a quickly deteriorating situation.<br />
I'm pretty sure several layers of my throat had already burned away.<br />
At this moment, a lovely assistant man came over to compliment Tan on his shoes and ask about their origins.<br />
Tanner survived the added trial with grace, thanking the guy as the slightly minty foam from hell filled his mouth.<br />
After perpetual years of firey sewer tastebud torture,<br />
we decided to do what years of evolution has taught us,<br />
namely read the instructions.<br />
It advised us not to swallow,<br />
and to spit in the nearest sink.<br />
Which we promptly obeyed after locating said sink.<br />
After that, we continued to die for the next two hours.<br />
After exiting the store like bats out of hades.<br />
I had death breath for the next life of my life.<br />
We renamed the little creep<br />
THE PISS OF SATAN<br />
on account of that was the most horrifying and emotionally traumatizing experience of my life.<br />
<br />
But hey, Lush products are great.<br />
That one just wasn't so much.<br />
<br /></div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-77387900312462841022013-04-05T14:22:00.005-07:002013-04-05T14:22:49.252-07:00That One Time When I Camped for a Long Time<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I know this happened a long time ago.<br />
Almost a year now, in fact.<br />
But I figured, since I have absolutely nothing else to write about currently,<br />
I'd talk about that one time when I lived in the wilderness for five weeks.<br />
<br />
'Twas an adventure filled with danger, daring, boys, trees, squirrels, and cooking. Also a friendly woodpecker and some flies.<br />
(Reader is advised to discontinue reading if you are against fly cruelty)<br />
<br />
Allow me to explain myself.<br />
<br />
Last year, at the young age of 'I just graduated high school,' I sorta kinda applied to be the "Field Camp Cook" for the BYU-Idaho geology department.<br />
Let's just say it included facebook and panic.<br />
<br />
A couple days later, I was propelled into a world of driving giant vans and planning meals for 30 people.<br />
Needless to say, I was terrified.<br />
I was in charge of cooking and planning the meals, and purchasing and packing for said meals.<br />
<br />
A couple days, four shopping carts filled to the brim, and a giant game of 'food tetris' later, Monday morning had arrived.<br />
I showed up to the school early and disoriented.<br />
After a few hiccups and some awkward introductions later, we were on our way.<br />
I probably felt like I was going to be sick.<br />
I was faced with the prospect of meeting and cooking for a horde of mountain men.<br />
Thankfully, there was one girl there. One. Other. Girl.<br />
That helped some.<br />
<br />
For my first meal, I cooked taco soup. I got a standing ovation.<br />
This was likely due to the fact that the group hadn't had a cook their first week out, and had slowly starved to death on the mountain terrain.<br />
Any food is better than no food at all.<br />
<br />
The next five weeks were a blur of cooking giant meals and waking up at 4 in the morning.<br />
There was probably some wilderness involved.<br />
Some mice tore apart our garbage.<br />
Some others drowned in our water bucket.<br />
Also, an evil cow stared me down as I came back from a hike once. <br />
I also learned far, far more about men than I had ever hoped to learn... ever.<br />
Sometimes, you can DEFINITELY learn too much.<br />
<br />
<br />
There was also hilarity.<br />
Turns out geologists are funny.<br />
There were conversations which included quotes such as...<br />
<br />
"That noise? Oh, it's just the sun... cooking a dead body."<br />
"Was it as exciting as that time we saw two squirrels having sex?"<br />
"Out of ALL the pokemons in the world, which one would you date?"<br />
"Oh, the Labyrinth? Not to be crude, but there's more than one main actor in that movie... if you know what I mean."<br />
<br />
There were also hilarious instances. (You probably had to be there)<br />
<br />
-Like that one time when a giantly tall man jumped over me, and then jumped over the giant fire that I was sitting in front of. Without warning me.<br />
<br />
-And the time that they screwed a bottle lid onto a bottle really tight and threw it in the fire and it exploded and almost hit me in the face and they all laughed and shouted "let's do it again!" and they did... and it almost hit me in the face freaking again. (thanks guys)<br />
<br />
-That time we heated a bunch of pennies and other assorted metals to try to make something cool, and they all just disappeared instead.<br />
<br />
-The time we thought someone had thrown a lighter into the fire and we all ran away and ducked for cover and then... nothing happened.<br />
<br />
-And the one time that we played that game where you say who you would eat, who you would kill, and who you would marry... so I said I would marry a certain person because his was one of the only names I remembered and also he was cute but I figured "guys don't gossip!" which, of course they do. More than me. Probably more than lonely old women. (thanks again, guys.)<br />
<br />
-The time when an army of ground squirrels stared me down while I was trying to make dinner but I was all alone in the forest so I could have died at any moment.<br />
<br />
-The dead humor jokes.<br />
<br />
-And the time I almost saw the same person naked like three times.<br />
<br />
<br />
There was croquet tournaments, guitar playing, and floating blow up mattresses on a pond.<br />
<br />
Somehow though, that was one of the best month and a halfs that has ever happened.<br />
It was the most stressful, terrifying things ever, but I absolutely loved it.<br />
They became my family,<br />
and in turn, I became that weird girl who cooked for them for the five weeks when they were forced to measure a lot of mountains for homework.<br />
But it was good times, good times.</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-45257208011684762252013-03-09T18:21:00.002-08:002013-03-09T18:22:43.150-08:00Period Drama<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
What other people think when they hear period drama:<br />
<br />
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What I think when I hear period drama:</div>
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Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-35323220906862201432013-03-09T15:53:00.001-08:002013-03-09T15:53:16.411-08:00Google Search<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Just discovered a hidden part of my "stats" tab that tells me what google searches have lead people to my blog.<br />
Apparently "drank so much, pee so bad" is one of them.<br />
<br />
WHAT.<br />
<br />
I need help reacting to this.</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-55351377321122559672013-03-03T12:44:00.001-08:002013-05-15T15:30:03.754-07:00Finding Bigfoot.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Once upon a time, I took a trip to Virginia.<br />
And then embarked upon a lovely three day drive back to Idaho with my lovely aunt.<br />
Things were running less than smooth. <br />
There was illness.<br />
Ice.<br />
And pizza.<br />
It was our last night in a hotel, and we were both delirious from a days worth of travel.<br />
She hopped in the shower, and I turned the television on to my usual hotel channel,<br />
ANIMAL PLANET.<br />
I didn't know what I was getting myself into.<br />
The show currently playing was "Finding Bigfoot."<br />
Something compelled me to stay on the channel.<br />
It was as if a ghost, a ghost with hypnotic eyes and a very suggestive voice was whispering<br />
"Staaaay. Stay and watch. You'll looooove it. Rainbows and kittens. Learning."<br />
I just can't resist hypnotic ghost eyes.<br />
So I stayed.<br />
Oh, misfortune. <br />
Oh, the things I have seen.<br />
There are three main characters. I have drawn them for you in paint to illustrate my point.<br />
*Note. I don't remember what any of them look like. This is my best dramatic reenactment.*<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCSEA-v5oe8FRo0Dfx7Twl3RcL7AMOSgosEbDM4Rr9ZOfeAKTjeBOoDdHzAA6rj94B9UyFbxJe5vZIJCxeorr7ezxjBbMMO1MHidHC7OEYUGnkXtvZXE5YNQoSczsYaPVWxxEjYfvCHG4/s1600/lesbian.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCSEA-v5oe8FRo0Dfx7Twl3RcL7AMOSgosEbDM4Rr9ZOfeAKTjeBOoDdHzAA6rj94B9UyFbxJe5vZIJCxeorr7ezxjBbMMO1MHidHC7OEYUGnkXtvZXE5YNQoSczsYaPVWxxEjYfvCHG4/s400/lesbian.PNG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>Ranae Holland.</b></span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Likes science.</li>
<li>Secretly (or not) a lesbian</li>
<li>Perpetually unhappy</li>
<li>Argues</li>
<li>Cool haircut <span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC-vM2FfTsPeC2dp2FfbMk5To4Q4ftfn1jZVCPYTO9-QThBaj6JF3aUj1fXNGD92dbw8-2yiuXCgxK0YU8w2x4YdF8xZ2AgLR_d0E8rA_UAcaKYiDoDJVMPJgpPdfhx0-BSkB48_7j4Tg/s1600/Moneymaker.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC-vM2FfTsPeC2dp2FfbMk5To4Q4ftfn1jZVCPYTO9-QThBaj6JF3aUj1fXNGD92dbw8-2yiuXCgxK0YU8w2x4YdF8xZ2AgLR_d0E8rA_UAcaKYiDoDJVMPJgpPdfhx0-BSkB48_7j4Tg/s400/Moneymaker.PNG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Matt Moneymaker</b></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li> <span style="font-size: small;">Probably just there to make the show seem real.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Moneymaker can NOT be his real last name.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">According to Wikipedia, founded some bigfoot search party.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Old.</span></li>
</ul>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU0k3_-x2bfA0L-p2N2QDXhP9p0KqdUJXPaYor_N6q3GJDz_FjTmQjUa1trZb7-4GtzPDtqU6TTgZ8oKw982acJu4TxjEE6ZqS6QyFKZ4GP2M3z6TGxvZ77IJtTS1cAr5cr92EkkK_AZM/s1600/Bubs+or+whatever.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="317" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU0k3_-x2bfA0L-p2N2QDXhP9p0KqdUJXPaYor_N6q3GJDz_FjTmQjUa1trZb7-4GtzPDtqU6TTgZ8oKw982acJu4TxjEE6ZqS6QyFKZ4GP2M3z6TGxvZ77IJtTS1cAr5cr92EkkK_AZM/s400/Bubs+or+whatever.PNG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>James (BOBO) Fay</b></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><span style="font-size: x-small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">Willingly goes by "Bobo"</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Bobo? Seriously? Are you a clown? Or a dancing bear?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Says dumb things.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Unfortunate face. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Makes "Squatch" calls and hits trees with sticks.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;">Swears in front of children.</span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Okay, I need to see if my drawings were accurate.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
*pause for google search*</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SPOT ON.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Ahem.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Needl<span style="font-size: small;">ess<span style="font-size: small;"> to say, I learned many things.</span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">DID YOU KNOW <span style="font-size: small;">that there are packs of Sasquatches all over in different are<span style="font-size: small;">as?</span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Like, <span style="font-size: small;">tribes. <span style="font-size: small;">And there a<span style="font-size: small;">re shamans and stuff.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">ALSO<span style="font-size: small;">, they eat Kangaroos. Which is <span style="font-size: small;">downright unfor<span style="font-size: small;">giveable.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span> </span></span></span>And people call them 'SQUATCHES.' Whi<span style="font-size: small;">ch must be absolutely demoralizing.</span></span></span> </span></span></span>For the sasquatches, I mean.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Anyway, the next day was the final day of driving. I had begun to catch the death illness, and so we were both delirious as we took a drive through beautiful woods and mountains.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
We proclaimed it official 'squatch' territory, and, amidst half-laugh-half-mucus giggles, stated that we would some day become the squatches of this land.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And that's when the ridiculousness started.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
We hatched a plot.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A plot that would forever shame the most likely single and flatulent Bobo.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
We would begin by completely un-making every assumption that the crew had ever had about bigfoot. Soon, they would be finding tweed jackets and bowties covered in squatch hair.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Solved rubix cubes covered in the same hair would also litter the forest.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Squatch newspapers and outhouses would be constructed. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A facebook page, created by sasquatches and titled 'hate Bobo" would appear.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And finally, we would go to the tallest mountain and write his name in skulls of our animal kills. When he heaved his way up to look at it, we would knock him out, put lipstick on him, shave him, and glue squatch hair all over him.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It was brilliant. We would rule the land.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Then, amidst more death-rattle-giggles, my aunt asked...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
"What do you think a Mexican sasquatch would look like?"</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Which basically just lead to me listing off every racial profile ever.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5l47erbKseQhsHMHi-0bNAjjd2WX0MyYcafIt4N47QAIdXtDffEZAp4cH-OZ_I5ADWZTzj8T3kBM0wh-h2mVI0Kxrli4flOqZSSlX8BE6GvBYxQ6q04StrhQrS5idJjwnDFWEUFGU4ts/s1600/mexisquatch.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5l47erbKseQhsHMHi-0bNAjjd2WX0MyYcafIt4N47QAIdXtDffEZAp4cH-OZ_I5ADWZTzj8T3kBM0wh-h2mVI0Kxrli4flOqZSSlX8BE6GvBYxQ6q04StrhQrS5idJjwnDFWEUFGU4ts/s400/mexisquatch.PNG" width="282" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mexisquatch</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
They wear sombreros and live underground.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The shaman's staff is actually just a giant churro.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
(I swear I'm not actually racist.)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
We continued to profile every race of bigfoot ever.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9N-GYHCDrjo19itQhA9X3or2aZsGh5YXrgOP_CdBqYwDUjkdmfhhqY8vP3AdN7pd_GNBA0eDAjm1WOgilM2ETBFmM7ZdwuYvLE01kvryI3BkrOhGPly9R5rwawNgybGmFEYevWThZVrs/s1600/Asiansquatch.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="346" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9N-GYHCDrjo19itQhA9X3or2aZsGh5YXrgOP_CdBqYwDUjkdmfhhqY8vP3AdN7pd_GNBA0eDAjm1WOgilM2ETBFmM7ZdwuYvLE01kvryI3BkrOhGPly9R5rwawNgybGmFEYevWThZVrs/s400/Asiansquatch.PNG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Asian Squatch</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The Asians were wise. Mustached. Black belts. Set up the "hate Bobo" facebook page.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So on and so forth.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Which lead me to my next brilliant idea.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
SASQUATCH OLYMPICS.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's gonna be big.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Basically all 'Finding Bigfoot' did was convince me that my suspicions that anyone who believes in bigfoot is crazy. Especially the teacher who told my sister that bigfoot is actually just Cain.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
-Moral of the story, churros are delicious.-</div>
<br /></div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-48920561532711774672013-03-03T11:54:00.001-08:002013-03-03T11:54:10.922-08:00Why Do I Do This to Myself<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Recently, I've been on a health kick.<br />
Or, an attempted one, at least.<br />
My friend and I made a pact to exercise six days a week,<br />
only have sugar on the weekends,<br />
and only watch two hours of television a day. (Which is MUCH harder than it sounds when you've just discovered 30 Rock and Tina Fey is calling to you with her oh-so relate-able love of food and inability to get a boyfriend.)<br />
<br />
I was doing well.<br />
Health was happening.<br />
Until yesterday was happening.<br />
First came the fried chicken dinner.<br />
Followed by cake batter fudge.<br />
And popcorn.<br />
And then, to top it off, the friend party caught the 11:00 train to DQ.<br />
<br />
Needless to say, my stomach was not pleased.<br />
I woke up this morning feeling like a demon decided to take up residence in my stomach even though I took down the 'vacancy' sign ages ago.<br />
Douche move, demon.<br />
He's been recklessly clawing at my insides all morning, and has invited his friends over to learn interpretive dance.<br />
Pretty sure they are interpretively dancing my death. <br />
So unfortunate.<br />
<br />
In other news, LEE PACE.</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-37894568908439029652013-02-11T08:52:00.001-08:002014-07-07T15:19:40.012-07:00The Sunday Nap: a PSA<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Sunday naps are not worth it.<br />
This may surprise you.<br />
The pleasure of the nap is a facade.<br />
A mask to hide a hideous, writhing, scarred nasty face that kidnaps you and eats your hopes and dreams while dancing on the graves of your ancestors.<br />
The nap is stealthy; regardless of how many times you realize that the nap is a bad idea, and however many times you try to befriend it, it will only give you unhappiness and discombobulation, it somehow continues to convince you to try it out.<br />
You think "oh, I'm tired enough this time, it's going to be awesome." or "maybe this time, things will be different. I just need to shut my eyes for a brief fairy-wink of a second..."<br />
And then you end up sleeping for five consecutive hours and have wasted your entire day.<br />
<br />
NAP EXPECTATION:<br />
That burning feeling in your eyes is relieved as they gently close, blocking out the harsh rays of the cruel sun. You drift gently, and angel babies, their wings made of the softest down, descend dreamily, singing with gilded voices lost lullabies written by the elves of Middle Earth. They stroke your hair, and you are floating, then resting on a bed made of air. You rock back and forth with a gentle breeze, and drift off into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of attractive men and faraway places. Unicorns whinny in the distance, and perhaps Dumbledore from the first two movies shows up to read you fairytales with his little quiet whisper voice. You then awaken an hour later, completely refreshed and ready to go on with your day. You feel awesome. You feel like you were resting in downy dryer sheets and your whole soul has been purified. Those angel babies bid you farewell, congratulate you on your successful napping, and wish you luck as you decide to finish all of the things that you were too lazy to do before. This is YOUR time.<br />
<br />
NAP REALITY:<br />
Your eyes are burning, and sure, closing them sure does soothe that sensation. Unfortunately, that gentle drift into a peaceful, gentle slumber, sure does not come. You try for about ten minutes to sleep, but your brain is like "lol, no." So you open your eyes, sit up, and try to do something. But NO. The nap is a jealous boyfriend who really isn't doing anything for you, but just won't let you go. Although you're too awake to sleep, you're also far too tired to be awake. So you close your eyes again, and the descent into dreamland feels like you're tumbling down the stairs of Cirith Ungol, except there are a lot more boulders and pointy bushes and Shelob runs out and attacks about every five minutes. At some point, Gollum may succeed in biting off your finger. When you finally reach your destination: sleep, you have thoroughly unexciting dreams about shopping or work, and are woken up about 2.5 million times as your siblings do their absolute best to re-enact the Hunger Games. Your slumber is interrupted by intermittent war cries and arguments, and you decide they are trying to learn how to break dance.<br />
Every time you are woken up, you decide you've had enough. You try to struggle out of the cold grasp of the nap, but with hands like that black goo that crawled out of the meteorite in Spider Man 3, it convinces you that you need some more sleep and drags your brain back down.<br />
You wake up five hours later with a burning headache and a stuffy nose. You aren't sure which millennium you've drifted into. Maybe the zombies have eaten your friends. Maybe you live on Mars now. You feel all stiff and painful and sore and STILL TIRED. The nap has betrayed you.<br />
<br />
This is the day, brothers and sisters, that I vow to never take the dreaded nap again. Not only did it leave me feeling thoroughly UNrefreshed, it forced me to lie awake until three last night while visions of the slumber that I wasn't having danced through my head. Exhaustion has turned me into a rage beast. Who knows when or who I will strike. Just be prepared.</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1819950212118798262.post-78614328901476862822013-01-22T20:47:00.000-08:002013-07-03T12:22:20.824-07:00Confessions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
1- I don't know who Jessica Chastain is, but I know I could never endorse someone whose last name sounds like "Chastain."<br />
<br />
2- I don't understand those signs that say "speed enforced by radar." Unless 'Radar' is a very violent cyborg cop who rides a velociraptor, in which case, I completely understand.<br />
<br />
3-That video where Christian the lion re-unites with his human parents and hugs them and it plays "I Will Always Love You" makes me cry a little every time.<br />
<br />
4- My dream man would be a mixture of Tom Hiddleston, Olan Rogers, Ned the Piemaker, and the Eleventh Doctor. That right there... might be too beautiful for the earth to even be able to handle. Like, we might explode. And he would wear cologne that smells like books and cherry flavor.<br />
<br />
5-I hate everyone who wants to try to bring dinosaurs back to this planet. In every scenario played out ever, how is this a good idea? Haven't you seen Jurassic Park? One failed electrical fence, and all that will be left of me is a severed arm in a lavatory.<br />
(Sorry, hate is strong. But your ideas are bad and you should feel bad.)<br />
<br />
6- I think Citizen Kane is one of the worst movies I've ever watched. I'm not sure why it's number one, but it shouldn't be.<br />
(Now all I have to do is wait for a gaggle of raging film critics to come through my door and punch me in the throat)<br />
<br />
7- Sometimes, I pretend like I'm listening, but I'm really not. I get lost in my brain. Unfortunately, I am awful at hiding that fact. It's pretty obvious because I go all slack-jawed and dreamy-eyed and stop making eye contact and say "yeah" a lot and become even less socially acceptable than I am now.<br />
<br />
8- I think feet are by far the creepiest part of the body. They're like hands for your legs, but with stubs instead of fingers and horrible sock-bred clamminess. Feet are the horror films of the body.<br />
<br />
9- My secret desire is to be an animal cop. However I am two parts coward and rage-beast. Either I would turn and run, or I would beat the crap out of someone while sobbing over an injured puppy.<br />
<br />
10- I hate the word grout.<br />
<br />
11- I imagine my cat would talk in an Alan Rickman voice.<br />
<br />
12- I really want a hug from an actual bear. As long as it doesn't result in my subsequent evisceration and or dismemberment.</div>
Ali Fullerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09230509686458343285noreply@blogger.com4