So.
I have a new pet peeve.
I know, weird, right?
Do you want to hear about it?
Of COURSE you do.
I have found a new hatred of the art...
of making things up
just for the sake of sounding smart.
It drives me INSANE.
Because you secretly know how false your little tales are.
And we DEFINITELY know.
Because it's things like this.
"Did you know that the oven mitts in our kitchen were hand woven by pygmies living in Antarctica? They used turtle eyelashes."
"Did you know that the new running shoe that Toyota is putting out can move your legs so fast that it will take you to China and back within 30 minutes? Yeah. They come in pink, blue and brown, and are completely organic!"
"Did you know that the tires on this car can also be used for smashing through solid concrete when I need to get to my underground lair 78 miles below the surface? Yeah. It's true. Santa gave them to me."
And they're totally serious! Like... this is the most believable thing in this WORLD!
I mean... what the... really?
So... Just a warning of all you falsifiers out there... we know you're lying. Cut it out.
2 comments:
My oven is actually a time machine. It came with the warranty. I have already met Jane Austen and such people just since getting it on Friday. Crazy right? I will have to take you with me the next time I go visit MERLIN in CAMELOT. I think you two would get along just swell.
Sounds like a deal!!!
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