A nerd's review of True Grit...

Okay. I know that I am seriously behind the times. That movie came out, like, totes forever ago.
However, I watched it for the 1st time last night, and might I say that I am thoroughly confused? I was speechless for an entire 1/2 hour after I finished watching. I mean, it was good and all, BUT...

1.I went into the movie expecting an incredible and intense western with little humor and a lot of action. This was by no means the case. There was some violence, but an extreme amount of humor. I felt sort of like I was watching a mixture of Zoolander and some old western. It was veeery very funny, but I was confused the entire time, waiting for something super important and serious to happen. (There were serious bits, of course. If you aren't a fan of finger chopping, you might want to get some violence edit, that surprised the crap out of me.)

2. Those were some formal cowboys. (I.e... I do not feel comfortable with this idea.) It may have been part of the humor aspect, and it was probably realistic, but it tripped my brain out.

3. (spoiler-ish alert) There's a part at the end, and I don't feel like I'm giving anything away since it came out forever ago, where she's stuck in this cave, and she grabs this dead guy, opens his shirt, and then screams as rattle snakes slither out and around her.
WHO THE FREAK GRABS A DEAD GUY AND CUTS OPEN HIS SHIRT!?!??!
Hmm, I wonder what could be in here? Maybe... I don't know... BONES?
I guess if she was reeal lucky there could have been an extra organ in there or something.
Maybe... I don't know, a spleen?
She could have eaten it for dinner since her foot was caught in that vine.
Or was it a survival tactic?
She could have stuck her head in the rib cage for... for what?
Warmth? Protection? Maybe the genie would pop out and grant her wish for a spleen.

All in all, it was a pretty good movie. Just don't go into it expecting anything. Because, honestly, whatever you're expecting, I can promise it won't happen. Or it will, but it will seem like it didn't, just to spite you.

A nerd's review of Avatar: The Last Airbender (the movie)

Okay. So honestly, all I saw of this movie was a few trailers and the 1st 5 minutes of the actual thing... And let me tell you...
I'd rather be eaten by a ruby brain beast than have to go through that agony again.
I would rather run for 10 minutes than go through that again.
I would rather eat freaking MEAT LOAF! Than do that again.
My first beef is with the pronounciation of the names. Namely... Aahng instead of Aang, and sohca instead of sawka (sokka.) Now, I realized we're all American and the Nickelodeon show is pronouncing them in a very Americanized way. However, since we all love the T.V. show so much... seriously, did they not a actually even watch the show before making the movie???
Also, the acting was horrendous. Actually, rephrase that. Feed that phrase to the giants. WHAT acting??? I basically only got through the intro of that movie (I.e... Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago... Blah blah blah...) and it made my eyes, ears, nose, and elbows bleed. And that little bald kid that played Aang gave me the icks. (Sorry, kid. Maybe if you weren't trying to be my favorite nerdy nickelodeon tv show's main character I wouldn't hate you so much.
If you are an extreme nerd like I am, and are a fan of the nickelodeon television series, like I am, DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. Literally ever. Don't even touch it with a 50 foot pole. That thing is reserved for the grinch anyway.