1- I don't know who Jessica Chastain is, but I know I could never endorse someone whose last name sounds like "Chastain."
2- I don't understand those signs that say "speed enforced by radar." Unless 'Radar' is a very violent cyborg cop who rides a velociraptor, in which case, I completely understand.
3-That video where Christian the lion re-unites with his human parents and hugs them and it plays "I Will Always Love You" makes me cry a little every time.
4- My dream man would be a mixture of Tom Hiddleston, Olan Rogers, Ned the Piemaker, and the Eleventh Doctor. That right there... might be too beautiful for the earth to even be able to handle. Like, we might explode. And he would wear cologne that smells like books and cherry flavor.
5-I hate everyone who wants to try to bring dinosaurs back to this planet. In every scenario played out ever, how is this a good idea? Haven't you seen Jurassic Park? One failed electrical fence, and all that will be left of me is a severed arm in a lavatory.
(Sorry, hate is strong. But your ideas are bad and you should feel bad.)
6- I think Citizen Kane is one of the worst movies I've ever watched. I'm not sure why it's number one, but it shouldn't be.
(Now all I have to do is wait for a gaggle of raging film critics to come through my door and punch me in the throat)
7- Sometimes, I pretend like I'm listening, but I'm really not. I get lost in my brain. Unfortunately, I am awful at hiding that fact. It's pretty obvious because I go all slack-jawed and dreamy-eyed and stop making eye contact and say "yeah" a lot and become even less socially acceptable than I am now.
8- I think feet are by far the creepiest part of the body. They're like hands for your legs, but with stubs instead of fingers and horrible sock-bred clamminess. Feet are the horror films of the body.
9- My secret desire is to be an animal cop. However I am two parts coward and rage-beast. Either I would turn and run, or I would beat the crap out of someone while sobbing over an injured puppy.
10- I hate the word grout.
11- I imagine my cat would talk in an Alan Rickman voice.
12- I really want a hug from an actual bear. As long as it doesn't result in my subsequent evisceration and or dismemberment.
2- I don't understand those signs that say "speed enforced by radar." Unless 'Radar' is a very violent cyborg cop who rides a velociraptor, in which case, I completely understand.
3-That video where Christian the lion re-unites with his human parents and hugs them and it plays "I Will Always Love You" makes me cry a little every time.
4- My dream man would be a mixture of Tom Hiddleston, Olan Rogers, Ned the Piemaker, and the Eleventh Doctor. That right there... might be too beautiful for the earth to even be able to handle. Like, we might explode. And he would wear cologne that smells like books and cherry flavor.
5-I hate everyone who wants to try to bring dinosaurs back to this planet. In every scenario played out ever, how is this a good idea? Haven't you seen Jurassic Park? One failed electrical fence, and all that will be left of me is a severed arm in a lavatory.
(Sorry, hate is strong. But your ideas are bad and you should feel bad.)
6- I think Citizen Kane is one of the worst movies I've ever watched. I'm not sure why it's number one, but it shouldn't be.
(Now all I have to do is wait for a gaggle of raging film critics to come through my door and punch me in the throat)
7- Sometimes, I pretend like I'm listening, but I'm really not. I get lost in my brain. Unfortunately, I am awful at hiding that fact. It's pretty obvious because I go all slack-jawed and dreamy-eyed and stop making eye contact and say "yeah" a lot and become even less socially acceptable than I am now.
8- I think feet are by far the creepiest part of the body. They're like hands for your legs, but with stubs instead of fingers and horrible sock-bred clamminess. Feet are the horror films of the body.
9- My secret desire is to be an animal cop. However I am two parts coward and rage-beast. Either I would turn and run, or I would beat the crap out of someone while sobbing over an injured puppy.
10- I hate the word grout.
11- I imagine my cat would talk in an Alan Rickman voice.
12- I really want a hug from an actual bear. As long as it doesn't result in my subsequent evisceration and or dismemberment.
4 comments:
I'll have to look up the people who make up the awesome man you spoke of -- I don't know who they are. I think zoning out happens to the best of us. And .. when you say you want to be an "animal cop" I don't suppose you meant an animal who is also a cop? If so then I'd like to know which animal you wanted to be.
Thank you for confessing that you think feet are disgusting!! I feel exactly the same way and everyone thinks i'm weird because of it.
You gave me a good laugh daughter of mine. I know the zoning out pretending to listen Alex all to well as it happens about the time I suggest cleaning up something :)
grout.
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