So,
I've been thinking.
I've had this blog now for... quite some time, and I've never introduced myself!
How's that for the rude-est hostess you've ever dealt with, eh?
I'm a horrible human being. I should be destroyed and beaten with my own laptop.
So... here we go.
Hi! *Holds out hand for a bear hug in hand shake form*
I'm Ali! Let me tell you a little about myself. Hmmm. What's interesting about me?
I have an obscenely round head. Some kinder folks would call it "heart shaped," but I say there's no shame in being spherical.
I have the immune system of an extremely sickly teenager. I'm like that obnoxious kid Colin from The Secret Garden, but with much better hair and a lack of annoying whine-phrases. Also, I'm tanner. But I digress. Immune system. Bad. I should probably take a multivitamin. Maybe one shaped like curious george's head.
I have the flirting skills of Hoggle from the Labrynth. A.k.a, whining, yelling "them's my jewels!" And angrily correcting people on the pronunciation of my name.
No.
But really. Usually I end up stuttering awkwardly, quoting about four score movies, television shows, and OLAN ROGERS... all without their knowledge.
Which leads them to believe that I am a complete and utter psycho.
And they'd be right.
I have a fear of... four things.
Grasshoppers. (Perverts, all of them!)
Moths. (The hairy butterflies of hades)
Needles in my skin. (wait, what are you injecting???)
Dinosaurs. (I have a fascination for them, but if I'm going to get my flesh ripped off and eaten by a long dead and possibly mythical being, so help me, it BETTER be a dragon.)
I have an obsession with spanish guitar. I am a "guitar player" in the lose sense of the word, A.k.a, I have the skills of a flipper-handed platypus, and I wish I was awesome enough to play spanish guitar.
And hey, while the skill troll is handing out skills, how's about I have the ability to fiddle too?
I also have an obsession with delicious man-candy voices. I'll tell you all about them in my next post.
In closing, here are some final things. *Deep inhalation of breath*
I'm a cat person.I hate bullies.My greatest nemesis is the early morning alarm clock.If I had a superpower, it would be reading minds.I can fly, but only for about one second.Most of the words that come out of my mouth are quotes, even if you can't tell.I love green olives.I'm writing a book.I love mexican food.I love all food.I love Harry Potter.I'm a massive nerd.Music feeds my soul. The END>
Now that you have learned absolutely nothing about me,
Live long and prosper.
I've been thinking.
I've had this blog now for... quite some time, and I've never introduced myself!
How's that for the rude-est hostess you've ever dealt with, eh?
I'm a horrible human being. I should be destroyed and beaten with my own laptop.
So... here we go.
Hi! *Holds out hand for a bear hug in hand shake form*
I'm Ali! Let me tell you a little about myself. Hmmm. What's interesting about me?
I have an obscenely round head. Some kinder folks would call it "heart shaped," but I say there's no shame in being spherical.
I have the immune system of an extremely sickly teenager. I'm like that obnoxious kid Colin from The Secret Garden, but with much better hair and a lack of annoying whine-phrases. Also, I'm tanner. But I digress. Immune system. Bad. I should probably take a multivitamin. Maybe one shaped like curious george's head.
I have the flirting skills of Hoggle from the Labrynth. A.k.a, whining, yelling "them's my jewels!" And angrily correcting people on the pronunciation of my name.
No.
But really. Usually I end up stuttering awkwardly, quoting about four score movies, television shows, and OLAN ROGERS... all without their knowledge.
Which leads them to believe that I am a complete and utter psycho.
And they'd be right.
I have a fear of... four things.
Grasshoppers. (Perverts, all of them!)
Moths. (The hairy butterflies of hades)
Needles in my skin. (wait, what are you injecting???)
Dinosaurs. (I have a fascination for them, but if I'm going to get my flesh ripped off and eaten by a long dead and possibly mythical being, so help me, it BETTER be a dragon.)
I have an obsession with spanish guitar. I am a "guitar player" in the lose sense of the word, A.k.a, I have the skills of a flipper-handed platypus, and I wish I was awesome enough to play spanish guitar.
And hey, while the skill troll is handing out skills, how's about I have the ability to fiddle too?
I also have an obsession with delicious man-candy voices. I'll tell you all about them in my next post.
In closing, here are some final things. *Deep inhalation of breath*
I'm a cat person.I hate bullies.My greatest nemesis is the early morning alarm clock.If I had a superpower, it would be reading minds.I can fly, but only for about one second.Most of the words that come out of my mouth are quotes, even if you can't tell.I love green olives.I'm writing a book.I love mexican food.I love all food.I love Harry Potter.I'm a massive nerd.Music feeds my soul. The END>
Now that you have learned absolutely nothing about me,
Live long and prosper.
2 comments:
So, I'm guessing you are glad it was me and not you that found, while I was talking to a friend, that I had some creature up my pant leg. I grabbed it to keep it from crawling and went inside to discover that I had squished a grasshopper almost to death in my pant leg. I found a grasshopper leg in the wash this week too. Yuck! That's better than Connor who found the head in his load of wash. I enjoyed reading about you so I can imagine you with your beautiful hair, spherical head, quoting things while flirting with all of the boys at school and them being clueless. What dorks.
p.s. for the record I would have never thought of your head as spherical without you describing it that way. You're just beautiful.
I can't help but wonder if the Aunts have a little too much influence on you. I am sorry for you lack in flirting ability, that for a fact comes from us.
You crack me up.
Learn the fiddle PLEASE! Then we can have true family ho-downs, "moonshine"(probably homemade rootbeer) and all.
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